Death

Death...

People don't like to talk much about death. When you first think of death do you think about joy or do you think about sorrow and tears? Honestly I think about the latter more than the former. Death and dying scares me. Just recently I thought I might have come close to it.

How?

Well almost two weeks ago I decided to go to Disneyland and Disney California Adventure one last time because my family is moving to Iowa. Earlier that morning my stomach had felt a little queasy but I figured that was because of nervousness and excitement. I drove down there, rode two rides and was waiting in line for the third ride when all of a sudden my vision became hazy. For a moment I thought it was because the lights were dim but then I knew something was dreadfully wrong. My eyelids began to feel very heavy like I couldn't lift them and I became lightheaded and felt like I was going to faint. My knees started to give way. Luckily my two friends realized something was wrong and called for help. They held me up because I could not stand myself. I passed out. When I came to I was being seated in a wheel chair and my blood pressure was extremely low. Sitting helped and the nurses decided to cancel the paramedics coming to take me to the hospital. They rushed me to the nurses station and my blood pressure continued to climb back up. I'm not sure why this occurred as it wasn't like I hadn't been on the rides before. I had never had an issue like this before. I was super scared. I was brought home by my parents. I'm feeling fine now but after seeing the doctor I still have no idea why it happened or what happened exactly. Going to see a cardiologist once we get to Iowa. I pray it isn't a heart condition.

Anyways it made me think about my mortality and death in general.

On top of that my pastor in Iowa's father passed away recently and I listened to the Sunday Sermon with my family which was on the subject. He talked about how his father was ready for death. How he would tell everyone it's okay. Hearing that made me cry because I wondered if I would have said the same thing that day at Disneyland. I don't think I would have. That led me to ask myself why? Why wouldn't I? I started to doubt if I was saved. Wondering if I'm truly saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ alone who died on the cross to take my place at Calvary. Wondering why death and dying scares me. Why don't I have joy and peace that I would be with Christ?

I ask that you would keep me in your prayers for my health and as I ask myself these questions. I ask that you would also as yourselves the questions I mentioned above.

This Thanksgiving let us all be thanking God that he has given us another day to live. Time is short and precious. Don't waste your life. Don't wait to do anything or think you can do it a different day because eternity could just be seconds away.. Go share the Gospel- the way to eternal life with someone today.

Music

For as long as I can remember music in one form or another has always been a part of my family. My first memory of it was hearing my dad's voice singing a song he had written just special for me. I can not recall the whole song but the part I do I cherish very much and plan on it being one of the songs my dad and I dance to when I get married. I look forward to that day.

Another fond memory is when my dad would play the guitar and lead the family, my mom, 2 sisters and I in worship in the evening at our house. How I miss those days. My favorite worship song was and still is to this day "As the Deer". Something (whether it was the lyrics, or the way it was sung of a combination of both) just seemed to bring me at peace at the foot of the cross. I remember how thrilled I was when I finally learned to play that song on the piano and when I was able to play it with my dad accompanying me on his guitar. Thankfully my mom captured that moment on videotape. It was a dream of mine to one day play piano on my church's worship team. I remember I loved to sing though I was not good at it.

I remember the first concerts I attended were 4Him and Point of Grace together and then later on Michael W. Smith. My grandparents and mom instilled a deep love for musicals at an early age. Every birthday my grandparents would take me to see some sort of musical. First it was a Wild West show, then Grease, then Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, then Carousel and lastly Mamma Mia. For that I am truly grateful. My favorite musical to this day is Oklahoma.

I think my life would be truly depressing sometimes if not for all the songs that fill my heart and mind. I can't imagine what my life would be like now without music and the impact it's had on my life has been huge.

I can also remember how once playing music I brought someone to tears...

I had been taking piano lessons and about twice a year my teacher would have all of her students play a couple pieces at a recital. Well I remember I had asked my grandma what her favorite hymn was. She told me it was "Old Rugged Cross." I chose it for one of my pieces and practiced it tell I could do it well. Well the day came for the recital and my grandparents came as they normally did. My grandma had forgotten her glasses so she couldn't read what I would be playing. After bowing I took my seat on the bench and started playing "Old Rugged Cross." According to my mom who was sitting next to her at the time, she glanced over at her and saw tears streaming down her face. When the recital was done she came up to me and gave me a hug. I will never forget that look on my grandma's face of love and gratitude for as long as I live.

Even though later on I would decide to stop taking piano lessons due to being lazy and school getting harder I still have a keyboard and my music book yellowed with age and can still play Old Rugged Cross. I love that song now too. Not only for the fond memory of yesteryear but the words ring very true. I will always cherish the cross and my Savior, Jesus Christ who died for me.

Music is a beautiful gift from God.

What Is Encouragement?

When I think of encouragement, I would define it as lifting up another's spirit, giving advice, a simple act of kindness through word or deed, and serving others. All of these would be done in love.

The American Heritage Dictionary Second College Edition defines encouragement as: "The act of encouraging." Encouraging is defined as "Giving courage, confidence or hope." Encourage is defined as: "To inspire with hope, courage or confidence; hearten. To give support to; foster. To stimulate."

The Bible has several verses that mention encourage or some form of encouragement.

Encourage:

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

1 Timothy 5:1 says "Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers,"

Encouraged:

Romans 1:12 says "that is, that we may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith, both yours and mine"

1 Corinthians 14:31 says "For you can all prophesy one by one, so that all may learn and all be encouraged,"

Colossians 2:2 says "that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ,"

Encouragement:

Romans 15:4 says "For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

Hebrews 6:18 says "so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us."

May you be encouraged by these verses tonight. I am.

Encouragement

Over the next couple of days I plan to do some blog posts on encouragement, on what it means, and various verses having to do with encouraging one another. I've always loved encouraging and helping others. It's something I like to do. I like to encourage others through my words and my actions. It is something I believe that all of us as believers in Christ should be doing every day. It is something Christ wants us to do. I hope that my blog posts and poems so far have been an encouragement to you and that they keep being an encouragement to you.

Tonight I leave you with this question: Who will you be an encouragement to before you head off to bed and for every day after that God gives you breath?

Eternity could be only a breath away. Live today as if you had no tomorrow because you aren't promised tomorrow.

Thank you God for giving me tonight to be an encouragement to someone else.

A Tribute to Robin Williams and Lauren Bacall

So this past week a couple of famous people passed away: one actor, Robin Williams, and one actress, Lauren Bacall. I loved watching Robin Williams play the merchant and the Genie in "Aladdin". He always made me laugh. Lauren Bacall was an amazing actress. I have only become acquainted with her films in the past couple years or so. Her films with Humphrey Bogart who is a favorite actor of mine are some of my favorites. My favorite films of hers are "Key Largo" and "To Have and Have Not". Since they both passed away I thought I would do a small tribute and post my favorite scenes of each of their movies that I liked.

Robin Williams:








Lauren Bacall:





What was your favorite film of theirs? They will never be forgotten.

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star: Becoming A Special Song

Today was a great day. I had a little girl who I mentioned before in a previous post ask me to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with her again. This is becoming a special song for the two of us and she only likes it when I hold her in my lap and sing the song with her. She is the most precious little girl. I don't know what I would do if she ever left my school. I thank God for her. She brings so much joy into my life.

I Am Thankful (Day 6)

What am I thankful for today?

I am thankful for..

1.)My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who died on the cross for me.

2.)My relationship with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. It has been almost 14 years since that happened.

3.)My family. I wouldn't change my family for anyone else in the world.

What are you thankful for? Is there anything I could be praying for you about?

I Am Thankful (Day 5)

I am thankful for...

1.) The Lord opening a door and blessing me in a way I could have only dreamed of.

2.) A dad who encourages me to pursue a dream and helps make it a reality.

3.) Lots of hugs that I received from the children today.

Today has been an AWESOME day because I can see God in it. :-D

CHLA update

So I have thought of a way CHLA could expand to reaching more than just children in hospitals with cards.

If you have no clue what I'm talking about well then I would recommend that you read my previous blog post titled CHLA which you can see if you click on CHLA.

Anyways instead of just sending cards to children at hospitals why not expand it to people all over the world! We can reach out to people we know. All it would take is me getting a PO Box and the address of the family who it would be going to and people could send me cards for the family that would be picked. Then I could put all the cards together in an envelope and mail it to the family in need of prayer, love and encouragement. The family themselves wouldn't know that the cards would be coming for them. I think we could probably do this once a month. I would pick a family the first week of the month based off the previous months nominations. I would give people two weeks to send cards or other things to me and then I would mail it to the family the last week of the month. I'd like this to be special, something where the family was nominated by someone they know. I'd love to set up a website where people could anonymously or not ask if we could send cards to someone they know. I already have a couple families in mind to start it off. What do you think??? Suggestions, comments?

I Am Thankful (Day 4)

I am thankful today for:

1. A wonderful message from Travis Allen at Doulos at Grace Community Church this morning. His message was convicting. I found the most convicting part when he said "Your pastime should be deep study in Scripture and not in Facebook." I should be spending less time on Facebook and more time with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Another part that really spoke to me was when he was talking about temptation that the Devil throws at us. Travis said "Put in words what you feel like doing and that will help you fight off the temptation and entices. Articulate the temptations you feel. You are not in bondage to them." I think when I encounter those temptations and entices I will try doing that and see if that helps.

2. A nice time working on invitations for my sister's bridal shower with my sister and my mom. We got them all done today.

3. A nice time with the family and Brian playing Yahtzee. I haven't played that game in forever. It was so much fun.

What are you thankful for?

I Am Thankful (Day 3)

Today I am thankful that:

1.) I got more answers in regards to my dream becoming a reality by doing some research on the CHLA website. More information to come in the next day or so but I'm really excited!

2.) I got to spend some quality time watching a documentary at the library with my mom. The documentary was about The Harvey Girls.

3.) I am feeling a lot better. Not sure if my allergies are acting up or it is a cold but today was a lot better than yesterday.

I Am Thankful (Day 2)

For the next 5 days I will be posting 3 things that I am thankful for. Thank you to my friends Kristi and Nicole for suggesting I do this.

Today:

1.) I am thankful for Miss K our school age teacher, whose last day was today, because she has to start her next semester at the university. She is a sweet and caring teacher and friend. She always had a smile on her face. I look forward to seeing where God takes you. You are going to be great in whatever you do! :)

2.) I am thankful for Miss M, who has been helping this past week. I have learned so much from you in just watching how you interact with the children. I hope to implement some of the techniques you have done with the kids and work on my tone of voice as I speak to the kids. Hopefully they will learn to respect me more.

3.) I am thankful that I got to spend some quality time with my dad tonight watching "The Harder They Fall." This was Humphrey Bogart's final film before he passed away. I cherish the time I get to spend with my dad and mom alone when my sisters have to go to work.

What are you thankful for?

I Am Thankful (Day 1)

So on Facebook I was tagged in a game. The rules of the game were for seven days straight I was supposed to write three things that were positive as my Facebook status. I decided to do this on my blog instead.

1. I thank God for my family. For their love, care, and support and big hugs when the days are rough.

2. I thank God for my job. As of August 12th I will have been at Tutor Time for 1 year. Many wonderful memories and looking forward to the many memories that are still to come. What a blessing it is to love and care for every child who walks through our doors. That is what Tutor Time is all about. I love my job and my coworkers are the best! They make every day a joy to go to work.

3. My God who loves me unconditionally. Who is always right there beside me to lead me and to show me the way.

CHLA

I have always considered myself a dreamer and one who has big dreams which I don't know could ever turn into a reality. I've always felt very much like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Always wanting something more. Always feeling like there is something more I should be doing.




A while back I tried to think of what CHLA could stand for besides Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. CHLA has always held a special place in my heart for various reasons. It seems like all of my ideas I’ve had always pop out of nowhere or they always woke me up in the middle of the night. I don’t know why. That’s just when they pop into my head. As I was thinking about it this is what I came up with:

CHLA

C= Caring
H= Hearts
L= Loving
A= All

I thought that it would be neat if I could get children around the world to make heart cards and send it to different children in hospitals with words of encouragement and love on them.

I had thought about this idea a few years ago but forgot about it, setting it aside, thinking it could never happen. That it was just a dream.

Tonight, as I was going through some files on my computer, I found the document in regards to this idea again, as I was thinking about what to write. Coincidence? I think not.

I think God could be telling me it's time. Time to see if the dream can become a reality. I won't ever know if a dream can turn into a reality without asking. And if I didn't ask I would always be wondering. Wondering what could have happened if I had taken that next step.

I'm ready for God to use me for something bigger. Maybe this is it. Maybe it's not. I still need to contact the hospital to see if my idea was even possible. But now I'm ready to take that next step.

Will you pray with me about this? Pray asking if God would want this and if so that He would open the door for this to happen. Thank you!

A Sweet Memory

So today I went to work as usual. I work at a school nearby and today I helped out in the Preschool class. We had come in for lunch and I was asked to read the class some stories while we were waiting for lunch to be ready. Well I read the class two stories and played a version of Simon Says and the food still wasn't ready. I looked to my other teacher for an idea and she said that we should do some songs. So we sang "A,B,C's", "The Wheels on the Bus", and "The Itsy Bitsy Spider." During the entire time a little girl sitting next to me was asking me to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." I told her that we needed to wait and we would do that song next.

Before I had a chance to start singing the song, the other teacher had announced that lunch was ready and started to assign seating for the children. The little girl started to cry.

I whispered in her ear that "Miss Michelle promises that after nap time I will come back and we will sing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star together."

She smiled and said "Okay", tears still running down her face.

The other teacher only seeing the little girl crying asked what was going on. I told her what had happened and the teacher said "Come sit down. Let's stop crying. We'll sing it when you stop crying." When the little girl had stopped crying for a minute the other teacher led the class in singing the song.

This made the little girl cry even more. I went over to her and asked her why she was crying. She said "I want to sing it with just you after nap."

I said "It's okay. We'll still sing it." I gave her a big hug and everything was all better, reassuring the other teacher it was okay.

3 hours passed and I went back to the room to give the other teacher a 10 minute break but the little girl was still asleep.

Another 2 more hours passed and I went outside to the playground to send another teacher home and there was the little girl.

She saw me sitting down to sign in on the paper and said "Miss Michelle."

"Yes M"

"Can we sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star now?"

She smiled and I smiled. I sat her on my lap and together we sang:

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How I wonder what you are?
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How I wonder what you are?

"See I promised and Miss Michelle doesn't break her promises."

She smiled, gave me a hug and said "I love you."

"I love you too M" I replied.

She gave me another hug and went off to play.

I will always remember that sweet melody and sweet memory from today. I love my job.

Love

What is love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This scene shows love. For those of you who don't know where this scene is from it is from A Walk to Remember. One of my favorite movies of all time.



It makes me cry every time.

My family say I am a hopeless romantic. I agree with them. Here are just a few of my favorite love songs. Enjoy!







and my favorite songs of all time...





What are some of your favorite love songs?

A Lukewarm and Doubting Christian No More

I have struggled with doubt in my life.

As I was reading this morning's devotion by Charles Spurgeon, this sentence stood out to me:

"'Make every effort' if you would get assurance for lukewarmness and doubting very naturally go hand in hand" (Morning and Evening, Morning, July 26).

I doubt and therefore I am lukewarm. I am lukewarm and therefore I doubt. I shouldn't be lukewarm in my walk with Christ. Doubt serves as a sign for me, showing me that I am becoming lukewarm again. I don't want to be lukewarm. I don't want to doubt.

But how does one get away from being lukewarm? That is what had been running through my mind. At what point is a Christian no longer lukewarm? I think attentiveness toward God is important in overcoming lukewarmness. My attentiveness toward God should be all consuming; meaning: attentiveness not just in my quiet time, but all the time. Every second. Lukewarmness and doubt are only removed from my behavior and thinking when my eyes are fully fixed on Christ.

How is your walk with Christ? Are your eyes fixed on Him or are you a lukewarm and doubting Christian? Oh God, may I never doubt again! Help me, God, not to be a lukewarm or doubting Christian any more.

You Are Loved

8 weeks ago I started doing an online bible study which I just finished today.  A group of ladies together went through the book You Are Loved by Sally Clarkson and Angela Perritt.  This book was to show us how much God loves us and how we should love others.  This is the first time I have gone straight through a study without stopping.  Being in the Word of God every day is something I truly need.  It helps my attitude when I am doing it the first thing in the morning.

Three things through this study that God showed me were:

1.) I need to trust Him more.

2.) I need to do everything with love and in love.

3.) I pray that all I do may glorify Him!

Also God pointed out one specific person in my life that I need to be more loving to and I hope that my relationship with this person will grow deeper.  Please be praying for me as I show more love to her.  Now I have to go find a new book/study that I can do.  Any suggestions??

Excited

Excited.  Yes that's what I am feeling right at this very moment.  Last night I shared with my dad some very old stories and asked him to look at the content and tell me what his opinion was of them.  He shared with me his thoughts and said that for a person to get better at writing he or she should write every day.  He told me I should write on my blog every day.  Later that night I thought about what I would write.  That always seems to be the hardest part for me.  When I have finally found what I want to write about and it is something I truly care about I can get long winded just like my dad.  Oh well.  LOL.  Like father like daughter.  Hope you all don't mind.  I had a hard time sleeping last night because I was so excited to start writing again.  I only hope I can think of something to write about every day.  There may be days where my blog post has to do with something I've read in my Bible, in the newspaper, or maybe a song spoke to me or something stood out to me in a sermon or a movie, or maybe it might just be something that happened in my day working with children.  But whatever it is I hope I am able to "paint with words" like my dad says writers do.  I hope you enjoy reading my blog.

Content

The kids I work with I adore
Right now I could not ask for more
Their open loving hearts
Brightens my life every day
Each loving kiss and warm hug I tenderly embrace
Not a day no hour no minute goes by
That I don't thank God for putting these dear children in my life
Just shows me what I have to look forward to.
That hopefully my own child awaits one day.
If I love these children so much..
Just imagine how much more I will love one of my own.
That day cannot come soon enough.
On that day my heart will burst with everlasting happiness and abounding joy.
But for now I am content.