Monday, May 4, 2009

Intimacy with Others

More notes from the conference that I went to

Intimacy with Others

Our whole world revolves around relationships. We have to a mandate to obey. It is not an option. We are not to isolate ourselves. We can not be loners. We have to have intimate fellowship with believers.

Mark 12:29-31 says "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."

We need to take our natural love for ourselves and put it on others.

Self-esteem is not a biblical view but one that is too often promoted and is very worldly.

2 Timothy 3:2 says People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,"

Too often self-esteem and self actualization is promoted. I've noticed this in all my child development classes I'm taking. They all promote this thought. I never thought that this was actually bad until I went to this conference. But now that I think about it it is wrong. Self esteem and self actualization is all about me, me and oh yeah me. Nothing about others.

There are several essentials to having intimacy with others.

1. Right Attitude

2. Humility (Phil 2:3-4, Rom 12:10)
This is where it all starts. People will be attracted to you and want to be friends with you when you show humility

3. Serving others
One way we can find out what our spiritual gift is by serving. If we go out and serve others most times that spiritual gift will just show itself what it is. We need to develop the mindset to minister to others and not people ministering to you. We need to have a desire to serve others.

4. Communicating with and to others

Why should we speak?

a. To pass on truth and tell others about God(Eph 4:25, Ps 66:16)

b. Minister to others (Eph 4:29, Heb 3:13)

c. Encouragement.

How should we speak?

Proverbs 15:28 says The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Think before you speak. Speak with restraint, gently, wisely, and at the right time. Speak sweetly and with pleasant words and with wisdom and kindness. Speak quietly, in love, and always with grace.

In other words LOVE

The kind of motive defines our love. True love is motivated by joy not duty. Duty is legalism. Once we invest in them you will then love them. (1 Jn 4:7,11)

Barriers to Intimacy with Others:

1. Pride
Think you are better than someone else. People should be like us. Seeking out people who are just like us. I think I do this a lot. Judging the motives of others.(1 Cor 4:5) We should believe the best of everyone. Lack of forgiveness-can or will not forgive

Romans 12:3 says For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.

2. Fear
Of what people think of you will lead to a lack of transcendency. (Prov 29:25)

3. Malice

4. Deceit-craftiness

5. Hypocrisy
Pretending to be what you are not. Concealing true motives

6. Envy

7. Corrupt Communications(Eph 4:29, James 8:6)
Extremely careful about what we say(Math 12:34)

a. Prideful speech-Speaking in an arrogant way. Not listening (Prov 18:2) Self talk- always talking about yourself.

b. Negative-grumbling, complaining(Phil 2:14) Complaining is always directed at God even though we don't mean for it to be. Remember God is sovereign. No one wants to be around someone who is negative.

c. Hasty

d. Caustic- Sarcastic, criticism

e. Injurious- Gossip/slander/lies. Truth not spoken in love. Deception and lies destroys trust and relationships. Go to the person that you are having an issue with and not others about the problem

8. Busyness- Just too busy


Selfishness leads to self focus and lack of concern for others. It is never too late to start doing what is right. You should not be shy or say I don't want or can't get out of my shell.

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 says For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

The gospel is the wind in our sails that moves us not only to love Him but to love others. The main place that God manifested his grace is in us. Knowing Christ we can be givers and not takers.

Who are you really thinking about??? It shouldn't about ourselves but about our love for Christ and others. :)

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